Fun fun fun with my frenz! =D

Hey world. been drifting away from this corner for very long time. so im gonna update now.

Well. for the past month. lotsa of things happen

kk. well. Im single
kk.. well. Clubbing almost every weyek
kk.. well. KNOW LOTSA FRENZ (Thanks to my baby hy =D)

i finished my attachment, sch has juz started for 1 week.

Hate this fucking mood. wish to see, but whenever i see it, it just hooked all the memories out from my mind. Memories that I tried to bury deep in my mind and makes me feel so moody.. but.. since it brings so much unhappiness to me and worst still, i know it would, but why do I still wish and want to see it so badly?/ so fucking contradicting. comeon~ 4 yrs has passed. and it still... tangled with my emotions so tight, like it seems to never let it go... ='(

想念是会呼吸的痛
它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛
看你的信会痛
连沉默也痛
遗憾是会呼吸的痛
它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛
恨不懂你会痛
想见不能见最痛

The past just keep running back to my mind.
the feeling is once again back in my heart.
and sooon.. it will be gone again...

i dunno how long it would take when it alrdy took 4 yrs.
but.. im juz gonna hang down there.

No one will exactly understand this kind of feeling,
unless u have the same thing happening to you too.

Probs keep coming up. which i dunno how to handle.
i dunno what to say to you.. i dunno how many chance can i give you
and and and..
in my mind now, it seems that there are infinite and and and things going on..

sometimes, alone is the best to save myself.
but lonely kills me too.
more space for dead thinking..

When there's something deep in your heart that you dun wish anyone to discover it. you hide it secretly.
but when time is ripe, or you know that you can no longer hide it anymore.
instead of continue to hide it and continue to bleed. why dun try to shout aloud?

I believe that there's nth wrong in the word "LOVE"
no wrong that I love you nor You love me. its juz a very natural emotional that everyone has.

you might think that inside you, its raining, but y dun think in another perspective.
which is
雨过天晴 ........

seriously. im gonna say im SICK AND TIRED OF ASKING PEOPLE TO DO PROJECTS.

i mean like during the 1st week of holiday. no one bother to ask abt projects. so i msg ppl to do proj.

when i ask them for the date to do projs. they told me anyday, anytime. ok. fine. some of it. i set the date. time.
some ppl will tell me cannot. some even best. last min some more. make me msg and msg and msg..

fyi. my plan isnt student plan. i dun have unlimited sms. and im from poor family. i dun have enuff money to pay for my sch fees. so when i msg ppl i really hope they reply. yeah. they reply. but some. waited like AT LEAST 2 HRS ltr den reply when i alrdy arranged everything ok. best still. their reply normally isnt the thing u expected them to say.

well. another point. im nt the leader of any of the projects. anything or everything oso ask me.. this how that how. im nt a saint. im nt a scholar. dun assume that i cant solve everything.

doing grp project is everyone responsibility. you are given ur inidivual marks on that too. dun expect ppl to spoon feed you or wait till ppl push you, den u move. yes. they do their part on what you ask them to do. i really appreciate this cuz at least THEY DO!!
nt freeriders. thank God.

but im juz really sick when ppl keep asking me this how, that how. den i do le. ask them reply. like wan their life.

i really feel like wasting on my time and msg(MONEY)

i decided to blog this here cuz i dun wish to bitch this to anyone. so im juz gonna spread this on my livejournal. so those hu come and see. u wan spread for all you wan. i dun care.

wan fuck me behind my back. go ahead. fuck it.

hahah. Im Happy :)

Although projs are piling like nobody business.
but. IM STILL HAPPY!

hahah why?
cuz cuz cuz.

I celebrated Father's day at paragon's soup restaurant wif my da ge,da sao, er ge and of cuz my dad..

after the lunch. dad went off to find his frenz. da ge and da sao went hme to do housechores.
er ge is gg to his in-law hse for dinner in the evening time. so it was ard 2+ at tat time.
so so so. my er ge and me decided to walk ard town!!! intially i was so tensed as I super fcuking long time nv hang out wif him.
im so afraid that we will run out of things to chat abt. but.. out of my surprise. we have super lots to chat abt. we simply share everything. i told him all my stuff. and he told me his.

at tat time. i really have the feeling that " I have siblings. Im nt alone. I have a brother.". that kind of feeling is back. i was so so so so grateful to God of this kind of feeling that i was longed, dream, think for.

we walked from taka to hereen, to ps. we walked for ard 4 hrs..

and and and. he treated me bubble tea.=) although its juz $1.50. to me. is the sweetest drink ever. =)

so we went to the arcade over at ps. and we saw ppl playing STREET FIGHTER!!

HAHAHA. both of us remembered that we play this game super long time ago when i was still like in kindergarden or primary 1 with the super old NITENTO playstation. the graphic was like shit compared to the current one.

but it really flashed back alot of memories. i started to remb how me and my er ge compete Super Mario with the super old NITENDO GAMEBOY , He always laugh at me cuz i was so lousy. hahah but whenever we found new secret passage way. we will share wif each other. hahahah so fun... so so.. memorable.

er ge went to toilet while i waited for him outside. so there was this soft toy shop showing DORAEMON cartoon. hahah seriously that was my favourite cartoon character.. i dun watch kids central. so of cuz im nt a fan of mickey mouse and blah.

hahaha. so when he came out of the toilet and saw him watching DORAEMON. he was laughin at me and said " you hoh. ZHANG BU DA!"
cuz he said that since young i always like to watch DORAEMON. every sunday morning 9am will wake him up and ask him acc watch.

hahahah. both of us was laughing like nobody business..

in our conversation, he told me abt his illness. cuz of the overstrained of muscles. it has caused some damage to his nerves right at his neck which somehow affect this movement of his hands. he was suffering great pain after 2 hrs of our strolling. i asked him to sit down and rest. but he dun wan.. i can see that he's trying to make full use of this time to acc his sister which is me. cuz normally he doesnt have the time to acc me. I really can sense that he's trying to makeup for me for the neglection ever since he got married and had his 2 kids. and also all the nonsense happening at hme, and of cuz my parents. I really can sense that..

Dear Jesus,
Here I am to pray for my Er Ge for his strain-ness of his muscles which affect his nerves which link to his movement of his hands. Jesus may you heal my bro sickness and pain that he is now currently suffering  by your stripes. Jesus. please bless him with good health and body so that he is able to support his family, able to provide his 2 kids a better family. God, he is really a good bro in my eyes. and God, pls heal him in the name of Jesus. I want to Thank God for granting me the wish of spending more time wif my brothers esp my er ge. since young, he was the one who always play and dote me the most. i really wish that he can be as active as last time. God, please help him and me. All the things is prayed upon the name of Jesus.

Amen. 

I really appreciate you to be my brother. I love you....

so random.. i feel so random today. so rubbish today. so so soo.......

gah. rotting at hme. waiting to catch drag me to hell,

baby dun wan watch wif me cuz his frenz told him its nt nice.
so if its nice. DUN REGRET!! MUAHAHAHAH

random photos.





my crazy boy. loves.

我想要说
作词：周炜杰、蔡旻佑
作曲：蔡旻佑
编曲：蔡科俊
蔡旻佑-我想要说
★ danfeng927制作
看着右手被撕裂的伤口
爱好像曾经停留
而我左手按下号码之后
那首属于我的歌不再播送
默写你的爱过
坦承自己脆弱
对白怎么说
表情才不难过
我想要说
如果没有了你
我该如何往下走
那一秒钟有没有发现我
倔强里的问候
怎么劝我放手
在这一切之后
整夜的风冷得我手颤抖
你在温暖的那头
熟悉路口再一次的路过
等在那角落的人已不是我
在这一切


At times, people are just too stubborn to give out sth when their heart has acknowledge that it doesnt belong to them long ago.
people will just think, what will happen to them if they really let go.
world still revolve. things just get on.
in this world, there's nth someone cant live w/o someone. its a matter of thinking.
when someone thinks that the world has stop revolving when the precious leave them.
but.once u straighten this thought out, u will actually found out, u have actually missed alot of oppotunities in your life.

Why keeping someone when u know that she/he doesnt belong to you tgt and both suffer tgt?
if you really love that someone and he/she chose to leave you.
isnt setting him/her free the best way of loving them?

The whole of this week is BORING.
stayed at hme most of the time.
but at least for ytd. got to enjoy myself over at REBEL with my lovely bitch Simin. and ppl like Jasper, Huiyang and May.
its really a good catch up with the ppl. OH OH. and SHUQIN! my Lunch Khakis during sec sch. :)
when we met each other, we are thinking the last time we met each other. haha. and tat was like last year!
haha. time flies. all of us stepping in the twenties next year. uncles and aunites.

well. sch is starting on monday. To be honest, I quite anxious for it. why? no idea. hahah bullshit xinyi.
ohoh! haha i've been leading a pig life for this whole week too. except for today! ytd went to club and home by 4.30.
woke up at 830 this morning! to have my 1st ever tuition to baby's both cousins. =) they are lovely kids.

hahah. hope tat i can teach them well.
God Bless!

Donkey yrs since i updated my blog. haha
lotsa of pics to upload

Events:
My 19th Birthday
Sentosa Luge and Skyrides
Cruise(next post)
Topone Kbox (next post)

hahahha.


My 19th birthday. indeed was a really memorable birthday celebration. I would say, i nv experience this kind of birthday celebration for very long. Its really a heart warming, full of laughter, full of nonsense celebration.

I swear that i kept laughing for the whole day.
den i realised the thick and thin we went thru tgt.
cut off the crap, let the picture do the talking. :)












 


Due to the Ben & Jerry thinks that we are able to use a PLASTIC knife to cut a ICE CREAM CAKE. we have became cavemen. =)







 

They tried to make me do jump shot. but i failed badly!! -__-"






 

Its really nice =)




















Love you baby =)

Happy 19th Birthday to me! =) =S

i juz knew 2 of my friends got into accident.

one of them got disfigured. half of his face is chui. the row of teeths drop. jaw drop. blood clot in brain.
the current him, is a different him.i almost cant recognise him.

but thank god, when i saw him, he was still in the mist of recovering. GET WELL SOON! =)

I pray that all my frenz tat is riding now. PLS BE CAREFUL!
those frenz that considering to take bike license, PLS DUN TAKE!
cuz u will never know wad will happen to u.
even u r becareful, but others can be careless too. soooo
PLS! i dun wan so fast to eat "curry chicken"

alright, put aside tat.

im turning 19 sooon. but baby unable to make it on my actual day. wad a day man.. =(

ONE FREAKING FUCKING CB LJ NONSENSE RIDICULOUS THING!

1stly. i juz heard from my mum that there are actually someone who called the dog-catcher to catch those stray dogs near my hse market. and wad my mum told me. those stray dogs tat are caught, usually they will put them to sleep and guess wad? TO FEED THE FREAKING TIGER IN THE ZOO!!!!

wad is this man?!!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???

i was freaking fucking shocked by this issue la. they actually use these stray dogs to feed tiger?
no matter whether izit true to feed the tiger anot

lets say if it is true. 

ta ma de! u dog-catcher got nth to do izit? go catch dogs, put them to zz and take them to feed the fucking tigers. in your eyes, tiger is a live, wad about a dog? Dog has the equal rights to live too. izit becuz tigers are being kept in the zoo for the tourists to see while dogs are so freaking common tat u all can do anything wif it? kns! seriously ridiculous la.

cant u guys feed the tiger wif some other animals like chicken?? at least no one keeps it as a pet in the society now.

kns! i feed damn angry over this thing la. if this happen to be true, i will definitely go lodge a complaint regarding this matter de lor.

gahhh. 



 

i so wish to go for osep la. KOREA FOR FREAKING 6K NIA. KNS.

but i have no money.. =(

Enough to take this kind of shit.
cuz i dun feel i have the duty of doing this.

dun tell me for the sake of blah blah blah.

reached my max point alrdy..

and nt gonna talk abt her or wadever shit alrdy..

this time im serious.

Deep in my heart, i knew that i've lost contact with the world outside.

but i dun wish to admit it.
i have lost the happiness i used to force myself to have.
as happiness has never exist in my world b4. maybe before 5 yrs old?

even though now. i tried to force the happiness or smile on my face.
but everything is empty. an empty heart......

what i just wan is. to find it back.
wish all the laughters and concern come back to me.

Why on earth tat God allow this kind of man to live. He might be my closest person in my life but all the things he did was way off to my extreme.

He's now ruining my life. giving nonsense every 2 days. Reasoning with him-> no use
fuck him upside down-> no use. talk to him nicely-> worst.

I used to hate a woman tat indirectly caused the person i loved so much to his grave.
i really hate her till the extend tat if i could kill her with a knife, i would.

now this man will be reaching this point of stage which deeply i know i shouldnt do this to him.
but. at the same time. i dun wish to see him appear in my life from now and MY FUTURE.

I really dun understand why God made this person appear in my life which is fucking turning my world the other way.

I hate man who beat woman.
fuck those assholes.

if u as a man, beat a woman with no strength to resist you.
imagine ur daughter kanna beat by her husband. what will u think as her parents?

seriously.

i hate him! I HATE YOU!

i know u will never know tat this post does exist.

but im gonan sweep u out of my life!

quite some time since i updated this blog.

some event took place.

finished classical period gg on to 3rd stopover which is bsu=sucky

Chinese New Year.

Hangout and steamboat over at wt hse. its damn fun and havoc

City Alive 2009 its dope!

lalalaa.

valentine day coming.
omg. i realised i owe baby lotsa of things.

haha. i know he has nv forget anything abt it though he din remind me any of tat.

wads coming up?

my bd and lotsa lotsa ppl birthday coming!

im planning for my next trip.

i wan to go paris, london, rome, new york, vegas, assie and many many more...

but this time thinking of taiwan...

I NEED MONEY MONEY MONEY...

work is essential but nt during yr 2. so God. give me good timetable for my yr 3 classes.

and.. talking wif one of my frenz. he's has became a Christian.! CONGRATS!

and wadever he said to me.

it really reminds me tat, i have really lost touch wif my dearest God for such a long time.

i longed for His touch, I longed for his comforting hands and his great love.

have to push myself and baby to church. i dun wish to be backsliders.

and lastly.



I miss you God.


City Alive 2009! =D











 



some overdue fotos. =)